diddly do, diddly do, diddly do!! (LIKE WAYNE'S WORLD.)

this weekend i had a hair appointment that i missed because i was trapped on the subway for 40 minutes. Some building collapsed, or was torn down intentionally, and knocked out power to certain manhattan-bound brooklyn subways so we had to keep switching trains and bumping into old Russian ladies and baby carriages and glammed out Long Island girls and shit. It was an adventure. Before that, Misha made me breakfast and I got mad at him for putting onions on my bagel. (I think I actually said something like "How can you expect me to eat onions before my hair appointment??" Now I feel all dumb and bad. But I was afraid of my stylist laughing at my bad breath!! I have had bad experiences with mean women stylists. But I can't very well go to a salon and specifically request a flaming gay male stylist. I think that is discrimination of some sort.)

I think it's really funny if a hot, barely-dressed woman walks by and you see men's heads ACTUALLY TURN to watch her. Or especially when they look at another guy, who smiles back with a knowing smile, and one of them pretends to fan himself or bite his fist or something. I wish I was a man so I could bond with other men over hot ladies. Misha says he wishes he didn't have to, it's annoying. He did, however, bite his fist at me once, and wound up drooling all over my sweater accidentally. DROOL MEANS EXTRA SPECIAL SALIVATORILY HOT!!!

I had a dream last night that I was Asian. It was something like, I was sitting around, feeling sorry for myself that I wasn't Asian. And then it was an all of the sudden realization, WAIT, I AM!! then i looked in the mirror, and i looked at myself, and i looked like myself, but I was Asian!! it was very strange! And then I woke up, and it wasnt until the ride into work this morning that I realized that I wasn't a minority, and I had a sad feeling of loss. I wonder what I ate before I went to sleep last night, it made me very trippy. (I usually stuff a lot of things from the fridge in my mouth without looking.)