Fred Schneider Fan Club

My neck is better! I thought it was busted yesterday and considered shooting myself to put myself out of my misery, as if I were a horse. But this is not necessary. I sat very still last night with a comforting heating pad wrapped around me, while watching such tasty TV vittles as "30 Seconds to Fame" (which, i think, is probably very very close to old raunchy vaudville acts) and a story on 60 Minutes Too about synesthesia!!!! There was a guy on it who "tasted" everyone's name. He said "Tracy" tasted like flaky pastry! And "Vicki" tasted like greasy crayons!!! I BET "KATE" TASTED LIKE HEAVEN. or, at least smoked sturgeon.

it's official, we have bought our plane tickets. Misha and I are off to Iceland and Amsterdam this October. I really want to swim in this thing in Iceland called "the Blue Lagoon", which is a huge festering geothermal pool full of algae. Apparently it feels like swimming in "melted playdough"!!! EWWW!!!! FUN!!!! i also will eat a lot of fish and chocolate and cheese and Indonesian food (in Amsterdam). And space cake. OHohhoOHOHoohOHO SPACEY!! i am so excited. I hope Europeans will not hate us too much. Although, maybe we will be OK. In the Metropolitan Museum last weekend, Misha inadvertantly walked in front of a couple that was viewing a painting. OK first let me state this: the whole poitn of seeing paintings in a museum is to look at them UP CLOSE. because you might as well look at a print of the painting if you dont go up and see the brush strokes and texture in person. the point is to see how the piece was made!! and to see the vibrance of the colors!! anyway, misha got up close and blocked their view a little, and I hear the man (OBVIOUSLY not a new yorker) mutter "FUCKIN FOREIGNERS". haha!! so maybe peeps will not think we are american. Misha can always speak Russian if the need arises to not be American!! I hope lots of people dont talk to us about BUSH. YES WE KNOW THE ELECTION WAS DUMB!!!!

The vinyl figures from such artists as Michael Lau and Eric So are really neat. I suggest you look at the toys here. Also, I like Giant Robot's online store a lot.

My favorite food in the world when I was younger (and sometimes now still) was M&Ms. Once in 7th grade, I ate almost a whole 3 pound bag in one sitting. I like this anecdote, because it sounds like something someone would say while crying on Richard Simmons' tv show. I remember watching Maury Povitch once when it was a show about the morbidly obese, and they laid out this buffet table which this woman said was close to what she used to consume in one day. it was COVERED in food. and my mom, who was watching with me, exclaimed that it was gross!! and i remember thinking "oh, that's really not so much food, cause you dont really think about what you eat in a day all together. i mean, you're not eating that whole buffet table at ONCE." NOW I REALIZE HOW MUCH FOOD THAT WAS, AND HOW I NEVER EVER IN MY LIFE COULD HAVE EVEN DARED TO EAT THAT MUCH. Currently, all I allow myself to eat are gummy bears or fat free dips (such as French Onion or Facon Bit Tofu Cheese dressing (i made that up)).

For future reference, my diary should be read in the voice of Fred Schneider.