Organ Grinder Monkeys and Rubber Butts

I have officially decided to become a wandering troubador, journeying to the farest reaches of land and sea, plying my trade to any ear willing to give a few spare coins for a lil' listen. I sang at a karaoke place over the weekend and was god awful. when i was little my parents used to say "You couldn't even carry a tune in a bucket!" this was said shortly after they beat me for messing up the family choral at Christmastime. I keep having a mental image of me as a small child, dancing around an organ grinder. I am dressed in a little monkey costume, holding a smallish cup.

I wish monkeys weren't so mean, or I would totally become an organ grinder.

Today, the outside air feels like swimming in a pool of greasy water. It destroys me somewhat. I am drinking coffee.

My mohair yarn finally came in the mail, but then I discovered that I need a circular knitting needle to make my legwarmers. Curses. I am making my legwarmers from a pattern from the last issue of Bust. Gosh, I love that magazine. Other magazines I like include Giant Robot, Lucky, and (much to my dismay) Jane. I think I still have a subscription to the Utne Reader, but I am not sure. I would like a subscription to Ready Made or like Artforum or something. I am a magazine junkie. I insert them right into my veins!!!

My sister is grossed out by the fact that my skin is so thin that you can see veins everywhere, like in my eyelids and stuff. I am very appalachian. (I do not play the banjo, though, unfortunately.) I can't even tan on accident.

I was looking in the mirror the other night and realized that I have "Morgan Fairchild back syndrome". This means that I have a broad back. I dunno, that is just what popped into my head last night. I can't even remember if Morgan Fairchild has a broad back or not, that's just what my brain thinks. (PS: it got messed up by lyme disease!!! IT IS RIDDEN WITH TICK BABIES. gosh, that reminds me of a good thing i saw on TLC. it was about urban legends, and one was about a woman whose bouffant got infested with baby black widows!! IT FREAKED ME OUT. But, it was fake.)

If you have money, this lady is really nice and her clothes are beautiful and she has a really nice little white chihuahua: Johnson.

Transmission out! I am going to go look up pictures of organ grinder monkeys now.

PS: Erika chews rubber butts. AYYYYING AYYYYING.

hahhaha, pps: I MADE A REALLY STUPID SURVEY AND PEOPLE WERE ACTUALLY KIND ENOUGH TO TAKE IT. Please humor me more: LIFETHOUGHTS. i don't even think it's accidentally funny. :(