Courage: The Biography of Kate M

I wrote this last Friday before the weekend but did not put it up: Tomorrow I am going to a BBQ!!! It will be the kind with ribs, fried chicken, and corn on the cob. (I am bringing beer or fruit probably.) There will be dancing and probably volleyball! There will be some whities there other than my pale-face, but they are the sort who hate other white people, or else who hate peeps who don't walk in the light of the Lord. Unfortunately, it will not be the type of party where a hussy gets a 40 poured on her. I may however get to booty dance with my weird flat butt!! (CONTAIN YOUR DROOL!!!)

HAHAHA I WILL NOT TELL YOU IF MY PREDICTION WAS TRUE OR NOT!!! is this tortue for you? (hint: i will always try this sort of ploy when I have no good stories to tell. THEREFORE, THIS FAMILY STYLE BBQ WENT OFF WITHOUT A HITCH! I ate some meats!)

My little ball of ganja, Lindsay, may perhaps be visiting soon. THIS IS GOOD, CAUSE I HAVEN'T ANY FRIENDS. i will make her work in the fields and currycomb my cats fur every night. and she will put cornrows in my hair as we sit on the front stoop and discuss life. Then I will set her free like a buttefly.

Today, I suddenly remembered the worst job I ever had, as if I had been blacking it out for years because it was so traumatic. I helped to empty out and scrub down an 80 foot by 40 foot (or something big like that, i am bad at estimation) pool of grimey water that was two feet deep in front, and up to like 4 feet deep in back. It was a stage for a play in Chicago. We emptied all the water out via a vaccum machine and long, leaking hose, right into the city sewer. This was in winter, in Chicago, with wet cold dirty water. I did this with only my tiny friend Katie to help. It took us about 4 hours. We only did this once. In return, I got tickets for the play, which I never ended up using. The stage manager also bought my friend and I a bottle of red wine as payment, but at that point, neither of us drank red wine.

My best job was being a tour guide at college. I lied a lot!

I DESPERATELY MISS THE HEADY DAYS OF YOUTH. I am going to buy a couple back issues of Weird NJ today!