there's a hole in my heart where a piece of heart should be


I hate when I wait a while to update and then forget every charming thing I was going to put here.

FOR ANYONE WHO CARES, I no longer live in a hotel, like that adorable little Eloise who inhabited an eponymous book that my father thought he read to me when I was little, but actually, no, it was my sister. I live in a real house, that is almost all different from when I lived in it before. Now my next plan is to move out of this real house, and into a real apartment, and to drive a real shitty car 2 hours to work and then back again.


The weather nicening up allowed me to spend one of the most joyous saturdays ever with Misha a week or two ago, when we attempted to go to the Natural History museum at 5:45, only to find out that it had closed at 5:30! so instead, we walked from about the middle of Central Park down into the village, stopping on the way to eat grapes and sight-see cute little gay men in Chelsea. It was such a lovely day, my heart sung with the joy of spring, like in Bambi or something. Then we went to a cheapo Indian restaurant and the lights were down and at some point they went off and then on again (there was a birthday and they brought out rice pudding with candles in it, whlie a tape played of a very Hindu version of "Happy Birthday"), and I looked down at my lentil/chickpea/potato/cauliflower food and realized that it was covered in a layer of shiny grease. NO WONDER IT WAS SO TAST-O-RIFIC!!!! YUM YUM YUM. I eated it well.

I forgot things that happened last week. We saw Bright Eyes on Saturday, and it was neat cause he had an army of women in prom dresses playing behind him. I somehow got very drunk and don't remember much else, but I did vomit a lot later, and then for the next couple of days, when I went to spray perfume on myself, the smell of the alcohol in it would make me horribly nausceous. I don't know why! I don't like to drink rubbing alcohol.

I just realized this week that my cat's name (Gracie Macey) is incredibly close to the name Macy Gray. Fortunately, my cat is not a weird-looking supafreak with a taste for good motown songs but whose ugly voice ruins them. DANG!!!!!! My favorite part in the movie "Spiderman" was Macy Gray's face when the Green Goblin comes to attack the outdoor festivities. She looked high and puzzled! and high is funny.

I have not yet enjoyed the presence of Sandy the dog again! My life is ashambles.

I may try to price sewing machines this weekend/upcoming week. I am going to buy some flower seeds to make my mother a flower garden. It will include zinnias and god knows what else. I can't find any seeds in the Burpee catalog for pretty zinnias like the ones that grew on the farm I worked at. (I ONCE WORKED AT A VEGGIE AND FLOWER FARM, WHERE MY DUTIES INCLUDING PICKING STUFF, CUTTING AND DEAD-HEADING FLOWERS, AND ARANGING THEM INTO BEAUTIFUL BOUQUETS!!! I ALSO GOT TO DRIVE A GOLF CART INTO BARNS. SMASH!) Orange and red zinnias that have that little circle of yellow things in the middle are my favorite flowers.

I thought that I loved all of Michael Ondaatje and his entire literary spirit, but In the Skin of a Lion sucks my balls, or it would suckle at them if I had any.

I am hoping to take another stupid Art Guild art class this summer. I want to draw some hot naked cyborg chicks!!

It is 81 degree boardwalk weather today. I wish I was still friends with Lisa, cause then we could chill at Seaside (WITH MTV!!!!) and then go relax at her family's beachhouse in nearby Lavalette with a bowl and some Puerto Rican mens tellin us to let our tits hang out and swing around. isn't that wonderful!

I would be interested in knowing any good places to eat ceviche in the NYC/NJ area. I had conch ceviche while in Puerto Rico, and I keep dreaming about it. i am obsessed with many foodstuffs. such as:


among other things.

Alright! perhaps i will remember some better anecdotes to tell you next time.