everything that i used to love is now dirty and unclean! i can't even figure out my sense of humor anymore because everything seems funny but at the same time old and stupid!! i am become entrenched in a horrible state of suspension. I feel like a walking blob of boringness. I see people's eyes glaze over when I approach. I hope no one I know reads this, besides like Erika. She would pat my head with tenderness and not laugh at my pathetiocity!!!!!

This is when the middle-aged woman in me breaks out bon-bons and cries into her cross-stitch kit. I haven't gone that far yet, but last night I DID watch "Judging Amy" and found myself touched by the gruff tenderness of Tyne Daly.

THE INEVITABILITY OF A LIFE OF GREYNESS AND DAY-TO-DAY DESPARITY IS TAKING OVER ME!!!!! Or perhaps its just my menses. That is a cool abreviated form of the term. (BTW--is that james spader on Judging Amy? He is a plump faced cuddler of a teddy bear baby. I enjoyed the splash of life he brought to "Stargate", but frown on him for providing his talents to such a movie as "Crash".)

today started out with my mother trash-talkin to porno stars on tv! however, my mother remained in our living room and the stars did not hear her insults! cause they were on Today. Hey, is it sweeps week or something?

Dear Lord, James is right, Dilbert has been providing my material for the past 8 years. In college, whenever I had to write a paper, I anxiously turned the pages of my Des Moinesian newspaper to the stalwart of my creative academic career--LITTLE OLD DILBY!!!! The gentle laughter supplied by his jokes inspired me to compare Chinua Achebe's anti-colonial masterpiece "Things Fall Apart" to the time a busted watercooler caused Wally and Alice to pick on the indelibly cute Ratbert, much to the chagrin of Dogbert (as always!!!! ;)). So, in closing Lord, please make my coworker forget that she saw me fishing around in the toilet for my access key last week (weird and disgusting coincidence, miss bettyford). Also, please consider the world peace thing. Plus also make there be cookies in the lunchroom when I go check there in a minute.


I forgot to talk about in my last entry, how a couple weekends ago we were taking the F(?) home at night, and I was quite drunk, and sitting there loudly professing about luv and stuff, and then a homeless man in BRIGHT WHITE FEETED PAJAMIES, eating COOKIES, comes up and asks for some money. This sort of freaked me out. You can not imagine how white those pajamies looked to me. I cannot describe this incident sufficiently, however let me tell you that it seemed like a religious vision.

i have nothing more to say about that.

I am being forced to attend the makeoutclub valentine's day party. this seriously wounds my very soul. i plan to wear a dress that makes my boobies like basketballs.

Some boys I went to high school with have started a relatively successful film festival in my hometown. Is it wrong to seriously desire that they fail? When these two boys were in 8th grade, they and another friend (the three were best friends) decided to make a bomb in their back yard. They made a pile of leaves and covered it in gasoline. And then lit it. The other friend was burnt over 80% of his body but somehow he survived. the other two had mild burns on their legs. none of them were friends again until after high school. I don't know what happened to the boy who was seriously burned.

In a related injury story, another boy from my high school broke his neck 3 years ago while "backyard wrestling". The local fire department raised money for him by coming up to cars and asking for donations at a local stoplight. I refused to give any money, cause I had heard through the grapevine that he planned to continue backyard wrestling once his neck was healed enough. They were reliable sources.

I hate idiots.

But I love suckahs!!!!