I am diseased once again. This time, there is a little troll who lives in my throat and he is poking my uvula with forks.

Once when I was talking to my mother, I asked her a question about the "vulva in back of my throat".

Did you like that?

Bryan D. had better anecdotes like that. I will steal them and tell them to you.

Context Clues

Bryan heard a song by Run DMC when he was young and heard the phrase "check my libido". He used context clues to decipher the meaning of this phrase, which he decided was "check my schedule". So one day, his mom asks him if he can come with her to some event, and Bryan tells her "I don't know, let me check my libido."

Which Weigh is It?

Bryan's grandmother was apparently always concerned with her weight, and liked to weigh herself a lot. One day when Bryan was very young, he was on the highway with his family, and they drove past a Weigh Station. Bryan points to it, and innocently says "Grandma, look, you can go weigh yourself there."


I don't know what Bryan is doing right now.

I watched the State of the Union address last night, but I have to admit that I had trouble paying attention. It's really disappointing to have such a poor speaker as president. And where the hell did this 85% approval rating come from? Are people afraid that if they don't say they luv everything American, they're going to be arrested for treason? that can be the only reason. I almost made some joke about pretzels, but then i realized that it was lame, just in time. In any event, I spent the entire speech cooing over the cute plumpy/wrinkled faces of the politicians. For example, Senator Lieberman, who is kind of homely but my mother said he is such a cute man!!!! (AAAAAWWWWW JUNK...... KATE;S MOM PLUS SENATOR LIEBERMAN, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) We also admired the dashing Afghani warlord.

And that's that.