NOTICE THE FATTY ARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love it. I am obsessed with plumpness, like the guy from King of Queens. He is so cute, I want to keep him as a pet. I would like to take him out of a cage to pet him and so that he can amuse me. Eventually, I will grow tired of him and forget to clean him and change his water and stuff. He will grow sad and despondant from lack of attention, and eventually die of a broken heart. THen I will feel really guilty.

I have been ill for the last few months. It got bad the other day and I was all weird feeling. I had a fever and was alternately cold and sweating. This actually excited me, because I love fever dreams!! They are always crazy and wild. HOWEVER, HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I AM NOT SLEEPING???? All the fun is taken out of sickness. I am feeling better today. Claritin-D and Advil are lovely. They do not send me on strange drug trips like Sudafed non-drowsy gelcaps, thank goodness.

In other news, the devilish cat once again crawled into my box springs. SHE IS SO DEPLORABLE, SHE MAKES ME FEEL VERY GRUFF.

I lost the remote control to my tv, but then I found it again.

I was thinking the other day about what my dad always says when I do something wrong, like in college when I had to turn in a paper late, and was feeling nervous and stressed out and sad about it. He would say, "What are they gonna do, take away your birthday?" that was to make me see that this situation was not so horrible, it would really have no long term consequences. However the other day I realized that someone has, in fact, taken away my birthday (SEPTEMBER 11, IN CASE I HAVE NOT TOLD YOU THIS ENOUGH). God, what did I do? Did I do you wrong, baby? Baby, I promise I'll treat you right. I'm sorry baby, I'm really sorry. I promise I won't do it again. Kate loves you, baby. Give me back my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonite I want to hack up lots of phlegm. My nickname for my sister is "Phlegmily".

I wish I was cool