I am seriously considering changing my diet to solely consume Herr's Heinz Flavored Potato chips and Cherry Coke. My mother says the chips taste like her small upstate New York hometown smelled all the time (it was right near a ketchup plant). She finds them revolting. Also my dad thinks the very idea of them is disgusting. Hence, they are my favorite snack food because I get to eat them all, even if they sit all half-opened on the counter for like a week. Actually, the dog will eat them with me, but then again she will eat her own feces if given the chance. Anyway, they are tasty as fuck, which can be pretty tasty.

My days consist of stress-related conditions brought about by unfinished help manuals and technical documents that people won't explain to me, and screenshots that do not contain the appropriate colors or amount of spacing. My nights are full of digging around in the dirt that is my room and packing it all up for the move that is supposedly going to occur soon. However, I am far from being done. I get the occasional respite from this life of toil, such as dinner tonight, which I spent contemplating the next target of terrorism in the US with my parents. (Our money is on Disneyworld. How fucking sick are we. But I am planning on staying away from any obvious symbols of America for a long time.) Ugh. Or it is filled with phone conversations with my friend who up until recently was my best friend, who now enjoys ditching me for JWs. Perhaps I complain a bit much. YES. I should just eat my sadness away. WAIT THIS IS NOT A MARSHMELLOW, IT IS MY PILLOW. UGH I TRIED TO EAT MY SADNESS AWAY, BUT IT WAS MY PILLOW!!! I WAS NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!! IT IS NOT A MARSHMELLOW BUT MY LOVELY PILLOW WHICH IS NOW RUINED BY MY GNAWING GNASHING TEETH!!!!!!!!!! PHOOEY!!!!

There are two things I have decided that I need to purchase in the near future that will make the economy happy: a cell phone and a car. These will also make me happy, especially when used in conjunction, and I run over small children on the way to work as I gab to all my girlfriends about stuff. Did I ever mention I pass an emu farm on the way to work each morning? THe emus live in a herd, with a friend that is a cow. They have fun together.


God, sometimes I feel like the strangest person on Earth.