I just walked past a mirror and realized I've been sitting around for the past hour in my underwear, a pair of army socks, and a knit cap. I look like I am getting ready to join the polar bear club for some icy swimming fun. Ugh. I am the opposite of sex.

I turned on MTV on all the TVs in the house. If I was snorting coke and it was 1985, I would feel like a Bret Easton Ellis novel.

Tonight I am going to see the movie Snatch. I hate that word, it is my most hated word. Ugh again.

Cunty McPhee