paintings and stuff

Dear diary,

I had my first pastel class today. It is practically the opposite of every art class I have ever taken before. I am going to learn to do those skanky mall portraits where you bring a photograph to a stand in the mall and are all "MAKE THIS INTO A TASTELESS DRAWING" and then VOILA! you have a tasteless drawing. It is going to be so awesome. the way we are going to make these is by enlarging a photograph at the copiers, then tracing it and applying it to paper, and then color over that!! BOBBI AND CROWLEY WOULD SHIT THEIR PANTS IF THEY KNEW WHAT I WAS LEARNING TO DO!!! there is no room for feeling and action in these pictures! only ugliness and 80's colors!!! I AM THRILLED!

The best part of class was when the old teacher brought out examples of his work, and they were all of half-naked women with cyborg arms and stuff. Erotic science fiction mall pictures! It was SO the best, you don't even know.

I am still considering becoming a nude model for a living. Seriously guys, it pays a lot for doing almost very little. I mean you have to pose for like hours at a time, but just practice a little and build up some GUNZ under your skin! The old wrinkly models, the plump ladies with interesting curves and lines, and the ultra rare male models seem to earn the most, maybe like $20-$50 per hour for about 2 hours of work. I AM HIGHLY RECOMMENDING THIS COURSE OF ACTION. I bet if you are an old fat transvestite, you earn the most.

The saddest part about the concert on Sunday was that my hearing is still not normal yet, and I missed the Behind the Music about the conspiracy behind the death of Big E. Smalls. Oh, Biggy. I wish I was a black man, cause then I could weigh over 400 lbs. and still be a sex symbol.

I have a headache. My house is immersed in a strange, sad time.