worky workies

Writing from work. As I might have mentioned before, I currently have an office all to myself as my company slowly moves over to a new building. I used to sit right out in the hallway, where anyone could sit on the futon in the meeting area and watch me read web pages about the Muppets or something like that all day. Now I sit in a half-furnished room, and I feel like a squatter!! Totally. Even though I work in the tech industry for the man, I still have my cred. I DO!!!!!! OFFICE SQUATTER AHOY!!! I sit at a desk that is jumbled with stuff, with a computer behind me that is always on yet monitorless (its purpose is a mystery), and there is weird slimy gunk on the walls that everyone comes in and goes "EWWW WHAT IS THAT???" and then they touch it, and i'm all "you totally didn't give me time to warn you" and they're all "YUCK!!!" and I'm all "well i guess i am the smartest because i only look at it everyday, i do not actually touch it." It is slimy and sort of like that Nickelodeon gack they sell, or that stuff in vending machines, only clear. and hangy! it adds to the squat-like atmosphere, in ways that I cannot put my finger on exactly. so umm, i squat during the day. I do not sleep here tho. I wish I did. instead i look at pseudo-pornographic web pages that Robin sends to me, like of penises with sunglasses on. And I read emails from Jenjavitis. An excerpt from my recent favorite email from her:

> > > For example I get a lot of "I am too busy to call that person maybe we should reassign it" That is not my problem all I am responsible for is assigning the dang things. I do not have to baby-sit who you want to talk for and who you have time for and right now everybody is equally busy so instead of crying about it just do it and get it over with you know that really ticks me off I am going off on a little rant. everyone here can drink my HATORADE. and kiss my pr butt. that makes me so mad that you are going to cry about it when you should not make yourself the focal point you should make getting the client up and out of here quickly the point and there are only 2 of them that are like that back there. ROAR. DRINK MY HATORADE!!!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH I AM GOING TO MAKE A FOUNTAIN OF HATORADE FOR THEM TO DRINK FOR THAT I GONNA BEAT YOU BLOODY THIRST!

I love her emails because they are always half-incoherent with anger.

It was movie night last night (for all of you not in the know, all videos are released on Tuesdays), so I got to watch "Save the Last Dance" with the ladiez and eat chunks of Entemenn's cake, and wrestle with J's tiny black kitty. It enjoys drinking milk and biting my face, apparently. Anyway, this was the movie that I had threatened to slit my wrists over if I was forced to go see in the movie theater, so this was a pretty huge step for me, I think. Fortunately I was pleasantly surprised by a sappy little tale of heartache and love! My heart ached because Julia Stiles kept reminding me of my friend Lucia, who I lost because she dropped out of school NEVER TO BE HEARD FROM AGAIN. apparently she went to paint houses in Martha's Vineyard, or Italy, or something. Anyway Lucia was the cutest girl in the world because she had GLASSES and DIMPLES...AND A HUGE GAP IN HER FRONT TEETH!!!! while this does not sound cute at all, i assure you there were plenty of people swooning whenever she passed. she made waist-high multi-colored cars out of cardboard and lots of collages, and could do the roger rabbit REALLY WELL. her best friend was this british girl named Greta, who had a very proper British accent, but talking to greta was like talking to someone on crack. she was either incoherent or the snappiest crazy of a silly girl in the world. Once I went out to dinner with them, Eekika, and cynical little Nora "you're dumb and a I hate you" Twig, and not only did we see a man boxing with a dog outside of Crack House (the dog was standing up on its hind legs and boxing like a kangaroo. It was very strange), but a nice alumni that we did not know was eating there, and paid for everyone's dinner!!!!!!! It was even a pretty classy place, so it was expensive. I think the alumni fell in love with Greta, especially when she got up and shouted in her shrill British voice "WE HAVE TO GO." "why greta?" "I FAHRTED."

One thing to note about Crack House that I want to mention is how a swarm of children, like 6-9 of them, used to swarm out of that house daily and run around in a pack. Once they swarmed out and descended on my friend and I as we were walking past, into town. They began to chant "RUN FAT BOY RUN, RUN FAT BOY RUN, RUN FAT BOY RUN" OVER AND OVER at my friend!! My friend, being the mildest, most tender-sweet soul that ever did exist on this planet, simply turned to me with a frown on his face. "Oh," he said. "I don't think I like that." Then we went and ate PIZZA.

I tell very pointless stories. It is work, eating at my brain. I bet I am getting Legionairre's Disease or someithng from improper ventilation. Tonight I am going shopping at Sterns because it is going out of business next week. People keep telling me about 75-90% off of stuff, and I am getting all hot and bothered about it. UGH THAT IS PRETTY GROSS!!!