I have been the only one reading my journal for the last two days, I think. The counter stats are funny. This is a crime.

I just got back from a wedding shower. Oh god, please let me never get married. This was the sappiest, most sentimental shit in the world. I realized that showers are pretty cynical tho, all that sappy shit is emphasized and exaggerated, and things like "the ribbon hat" and all those pictures are taken so that you have actual physical reminders that life was once carefree and magical with your spouse. As if, "see? this picture has got to prove that at some point i felt SOME sort of emotion for this person!!!"

if I get married, it will be a binge drinking party. And yes, I will invite my Swedish grandmother. There will be strippers and party lights and 20 kegs. And ponies and elephants. And roller skates.

Tonight, I dine on Japanese cuisine and visit my sister. We will chew the fat as only sisters can do. I think tomorrow i will help her do laundry.

Oh, a funny thing about the shower is that the fiancee of my friend really hates me. He ignores me whenever I am near. He ignored me today. MAYBE I AM A BAD INFLUENCE ON HER. All during the shower, I could only think about how I used to play "Barbie hookers" with this girl. She kept getting lingerie from people she barely knew. It was not even that pretty.

OK, this is another baddish entry. I will try to keep notes during the day, on a napkin, whenever I think up something really great. ie

"MEMO TO MYSELF: Do the dumb things I gotta do. TOUCH THE PUPPET HEAD!!!!!"

I will always be in love with John Flansburgh. I sat next to his wife at a TMBG concert once. MURDER!!!!! She was pretty.