Lunchtime for puppies

Bored as bored can be.

Tomorrow I am seeing Karate and Rainer Maria at the Bowery Ballroom in New York CITAY. I hope I meet a young boy there, and we kiss on the subway like in that CUB song. I am ready for love! Love where are you!!! I will check under the bed, just one more time.

Geoff Farina will feel my eyes staring into his soul. I hope he is sufficiently frightened!!

My horrible past comes back to haunt me right now. I was a teenage stalker! But I think it was totally more menacing than dumb, or I like to believe that. There was this kid, Kenny, and he was just the dumbest ever. Junior year of high school, we had to dissect cats, and he made the dead cat dance!! He was THAT sort of kid. Also he was mean to my plump friend Lulu for being huge, and he did this thing once where he wrapped masking tape around his fingers and was all "if you do it right, it won't cut off the circulation!!" and then his fingertips starting turning dark purple, and the teacher had to come cut the tape off with scissors. Anyway, he also dated my friend Dawn and all he wanted to do was watch Aladdin with her, like not even make out or anything, just watch Aladdin. OK WELL anyway, we used to drive by his house late at night, and pause in front of it, then all of the sudden put on the headlights, beep, and yell "KEEEENNNNAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!" really loudly, and drive away. I don't remember if anyone was like crushing on him, but I hope not cause he was really dumb. Once he was in the front room, and peeked through the blinds at us, and the next time we came back (that same night!!) all the lights were off in the house, and he was hiding. This is a really bad story I know. At any rate, I was a menacing kid.

i have been losing a little weight lately, and I don't know if I should be scared or very pleased, but my breasts have not shrunk a centimeter. (I am obsessed with my breasts, so pardon this foray into vanity. I like to discuss them a lot. THis is a little sidenote so you aren't all "THIS GIRL IS CRAZY HOBAG.") ANyway, what this means is I can probably pursue my newfound dream of being a burlesque dancer probably!! According to Bust, burlesque is BACK. And no, I totally don't mean stripping, which is sort of lame. Burlesque implies, to me, comedy and like huge breasts. Anyway, I have been daydreaming about easy jobs I could get, not like my current job is too hard, but I think maybe being a burlesque dancer or a Mistress would be more satisfying in a "power" sense. I really have no power at my current job, only the power to daydream all day and then write stuff!!! I would like power over the male psyche, please.

OK this is my final vain thought for the day. I promised to link Dave in my next entry, probably just because I want in Dave's pants I think, to live with all the crotch lint and stuff, but he talked about writing down all the girls he had ever made out with. My list would probably be pretty short, but I have news to report on the progress of one past kissing-mate that I love!!! I TOTALLY MADE HIM INTO A PUSSYHOUND!!!! He was way too old to never have kissed a girl, so I did a lot!!! Of course, at the time I was at a bar and horribly drunk, but this says nothing for me or this poor boy who was not unnattractive and plus he worked for TROMA which totally made him a catch. I unfortunately remember nothing of the event except waking up the next morning horribly sick, smelling puke for like two hours as I laid miserably on the futon, and then turning over my pillow to discover I had vomited all over it. ANyway, I got him over his unfounded fear of girls, and he is all over them like me on free cheesecake!! IT IS AMAZING!! I have not talked to him since, but he totally credits me to other people!!! This is an amazing event in the life of me!! I shed a tear of joy.

So as you can see, I do not have much insightfulness to impart on anyone tonight. I want to draw pictures now, and listen to some music. First I will transfer over my old entries. I promise more poetry and music eventually!! Until then read this diary. It impressed me a lot, and is all poetry and music. He wears tight cordoroy pants. How do you stop the swishing noise cm???

ps: The dog, Vivian, is totally broken. She is a little wiener dog. Her back is injured. She yelps and stands still for 1/2 hours at a time. I really am bothered by pathetic things, I want to grab them to my heart and give them love, but she is too hurty to do that with. Even though she thinks she is dominant over me, I admit I love Vivian to pieces.

PSS: I am in Sara's livejournal today!!!! SARA I WILL RESIST THE PERILS OF LIVEJOURNAL 4-eva. ACtually I do have a livejournal, but it is filled with dumbness. ALL RASPUTINA PRESENTS TO SARA IMMEDIATELY!!!!

AMENDMENT: Tonight, sleep. TOmorrow I switch over the old diary entries. Ugh. Sooo tired.