In which I am actually earnest, for a brief passage

My room is an incredible mess. It reminds me of a poster that my sixth grade teacher used to have in her room. It showed a boat filled to the brim with hippoes, and more were jumping on (some of the ones jumping on were holding little umbrellas or flowers, it was cute). The caption read "More is not always better". That is the way it is with stuff and my room. Especially clothes. I haven't gotten rid of any clothes since I was 13.

Anyway, this was especially a problem a bit ago because I couldn't find the earphones to my walkman. I like to listen to music in my earphones at night, because it makes it seem private and nice, like it is just for me. I can only listen to Geoff Farina this way. I tried to listen to him in the car once, but that was just not the right ambiance. It is to wide and open. I need to be under covers, with my eyes closed. Geoff Farina has a voice to fall in love to. I think I could fall in love with anyone if I listened to Geoff Farina with them. It makes my heart yearn. Is that love? I don't think I know what love is. Sometimes I'm afraid I confuse sex with love. Or sympathy with love. or jealousy. Argh. I will have to harden my heart.

I wonder if life would be a lot less dramatic if I listened to different music. I feel greater bursts of feeling with music than most other times! What is it about simple chords that have such a big effect? It makes me wonder why I got interested in visual art and writing rather than music. Fuckin Fred Durst will have a bigger impact on society than Seamus Heaney ever will. Life is ridiculous.

Now to fun. My loveable pal Bryan once called up all his friends for an evening and asked them if they enjoyed the ambiance of Godfather's Pizza. All so that he would be assured of a fine dining experience.

hee hee heee. The "ambiance" of Godfather's Pizza. In the middle of Iowa. heee

Krispy Pillow is back in town. My best friend from high school. For the summer. We actually had an amusing time tonight, of course it was all trying to figure out the meanest things we could say about people from high school. Ahh, life. Also, Krispy admitted her bisexuality in a frank and startling way. I told her my idea for a novelty item for drag queens, a huge merkin made out of rainbow-colored astroterf. I am very gay/bisexual/transgendered friendly.

I am pining away tonight. I spent today staring out windows at work. There is a wedding shower to attend this weekend. eeeeeeeeeek

Almost forgot: Bill, I did not mean to make you think I was upset!! Unless of course you are pretending to be upset like I was pretending to be upset. I love being a pal. If I am ever sad of not being hot, I need only go to NYC where a nice bum will call me a beautiful blonde for only a quarter. (Ladies, has this ever happened to you?) I wish I was a man! It is fun to communicate through diaries instead of email, sort of like internet postcards. And you all are the neighbors and nosy postal employees.

I have come to appreciate using the word "asshole" to mean stupid and lame rather than mean.

Now, it is time to sing.