also last night misha dumped a whole glass of water onto my lap. accidentally. i was eating a pignoli tart. it was actually not upsetting, but harmless and pretty funny, once i thought about it for a little bit. WHAT MAKES IT EVEN FUNNIER is that this morning i was sitting innocently at my computer, surfing online for adorable cat pictures, AND I DUMP A WHOLE CUP OF FRESH COFFEE ONTO MY LAP. it did not burn me, so I can't sue. but it soaked me to my briefs!! as uncomfortable as it was for 3 hours, i couldn't help but be thankful that it was only coffee (that actually makes this office smell nice). Once I was opening a package of smoked salmon at school, and poured salmon juice onto the crotch of my favorite jeans... have i told this story before? i washed them dang jeans SIX TIMES and poured baking soda on them, but that smell did not come out! and do you understand how awful it is to have a fish smell permanently emmanating FROM THE CROTCH of your pants when you are a girl??? so i was sneaky and i dropped them into the donation box for Second Mile. hehehe. they will be someone else's curse!!

so besides pouring liquid on myself, i have been enjoying the finer things in life. on monday, i made a cake for my mumra because it was her birthday. however, like everything in my life, i fucked this up. i love to bake, but never having baked with solid chocolate before, i managed to melt and then somehow re-solidify the chocolate so it didn't mix in the batter!! the cake came out chunky. IRONICALLY, about 5 minutes after the chocolate re-solified, we was watching Sara Moulton on the Food Network's Cooking Live show, who told us how to prevent chocolate from re-solidifying!! I THANKED HER WITH MANY CURSES, YOU CAN BE SURE ABOUT THAT. anyway, the cake was pretty tasty actually, and will look fashionable in the folds of my backfat this summer.

on tuesday i met a nice older gent from tuscany who attempted to look down my shirt

tonite i get to go to New York again via my favorite NJ TRANSIT!!!! last night as i was walking to a seat, some man (who i did not look at because i did not want to make eye-contact, i do have to maintain some degree of pride after all) said "Miss, you'd be OK if you lost 60 lbs. You got the blonde going on though, that's cute" and his voice trailed off as i strode off. i thought it was funny just because of how polite he was, calling me miss. 2 or 3 years ago this would have made me very sad, but now i know how adorable i am! also i know that my coat is like 10 times too big and needs a belt. it looks sort of like a bag lady coat, it is brown with white stitching and a fake-fur collar. i love it. BAG LADY SOPHISTICATE 4-EVA!

NJ Transit rides are always enjoyable if I get to sit on the right side of the train, because then I can view my Newark Mystery Building. If you do not know what Newark is, Newark is the city-burb of New York City that every large city has. The really crappy crappy place where all the poor people are pushed out into, full of run down buildings, crime, and sadness. (The Chicago equivalent, I once figured out, is Gary. The LA equivalent...is the entire city of LA.) It's the only American urban environment where I regularly see packs of wild dogs roaming the empty, burnt-out streets. Anyway, as you're going through it by train, there is all of the sudden this really really nice gentrified building in the middle of old warehouses and darkness, with really artfully done lighting, and you try and look inside to figure out what this building is, but for the past year or so, all that seems to occupy the inside is a really nice stairwell... Anyway, it is magical and bizarre in its unexpectedness. I love it, but would not want to leave there!!

Will i eat sushi this weekend at Friend House?? YOU WILL FIND OUT SOON ENOUGH!