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SOme fucker at work bought orange soda for the office. This is say with venom, as this person obviously had no idea about the depths of my fruit soda obsession. for example, during the last semester of college, I consumed little more than soda--in orange, grape, and strawberry flavors. I think resulted in vitamin deficiency, scurvy, general malaise, hermitism, and a 10 lb weight gain. Now that there is orange soda in the office, I find myself wandering to the refridgerator, opening the door, and just looking at it lovingly. "Hello orange, baby, how are you? How are you feeling today? I would love to caress your fine label and take a sip from your opening." (that is more funny if you imagine me saying it in the voice of Barry White) Anyway, I have resisted its temptation for now, but if someone goes and buys Jamaican Kola Champagne, I think i just might explode. See, I am trying to drink less soda and be more healthy. Not exactly a diet, but it involves eating a lot of fruit and Japanese food. The explanation is that you don't see many fat Japanese people walking around. Ohh, speaking of Japan, this is a really neat magazine and book: Fruits. Oh, I drink ginger ale a lot. This morning i unwittingly wrote part of a scene for a really bad tv sitcom: (Industrious character walks into living room and finds Lazy character lounging on sofa in an old bathrobe, surrounded by empty bottles and chippies and other couch-potato-endorsed foodstuffs.) Industrious character: WHAT??? You're still sitting here? What about that tremendously inspired motivational speech I gave you yesterday? Lazy character: Weellll, I tried to 'unlock my potential', but I think I lost the key.... HA. Pretty lame. Bill, feel free to use this if you ever find yourself working for Friends or something. I also came up with this really good idea for a role-playing game, where the characters are all natty old men. Not with superhero powers or vampiric ability or anything, just cute little old men who play chess and drink coffe and complain a lot. And you get to be them for an afternoon!!! Maybe, there could be fighting parts, where they could like, hit each other on the head with two-handed swords or something. EXCRUCIATINGLY EXCITED!!!!!! Also: I painted a picture the other day entitled "Two Friendly Seagulls and a River of Gore". I would scan it for this site, but then people would see it and no one would buy it. If you're interested in buying it, contact me in my office at [email protected]. I love you.
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