"So I'm uber-gleeful that you're doing well. And for the life of me, I cannot remember the movie theater story!!! What was it, do you recall?? The only story that I remember that is close to that might be the one from first grade: we were all sitting on the floor for story time, then when story time was over, we went back to our desks and the teacher said, "class, I don't want to embarass any of you, but did somebody have an accident over here?" and there was a big wet spot on the floor. Of course nobody said a word, then Patrick, this little Korean kid who was very loud and talked a lot said, "C'mon, it's okay! Just tell us who you are! It's okay! Don't be embarassed! We'll help you!" And Brad finally admitted that he had indeed wet himself during story time. And everyone was very sympathetic and supportive, and nobody teased him. That was the BEST!!!"

I probably mixed the story up with the one of my own from when I saw the South Park Movie in the theater. After the movie, the group of 13 year old boys behind my sister and I had very puzzled looks on their faces. "What the hell is a clitoris?" they asked each other.

...

The sad state of sex education in this country. My sister told the boys, "You'd better learn reeeal quick."

There was also that funny time when I saw the American President with my friends, and I was falling asleep during the movie, only to be startled awake by the man in front of me jumping up and pointing to the screen. "LOOKATIT LOOKATIT!!!!! IT'S BURNIN!!!!! IT'S BURNIN!!!!!! DA FILM IS BURNIN!!!!!!!!" The film was melting on the projector.