Last night Seaside fell through, as it was about 11:00 before we heard from fellow boardwalkin' friends, and it takes about an hour to get down there, and everything closes by 1:00. So we went to stupid as hell Applebees for a beer, wings, and a somewhat enjoyable conversation about air conditioners at work and the foine men in the new summer hit "The Fast and the Furious". I like hanging out with black and hispanic people, i.e. people with naturally darker skin, cause everyone can make fun of my albino-esque pale skin and I don't feel self conscious about it, I guess because none of them tan, their skin is already at a color-level adored by millions. Whereas when I hang out with the white "ladiez" at work who are all "you need to get some sun!!!", making me feel like the slobby dork at the back of the classroom with braces and frizzy hair. The next time one of them says anything about my paleness or says any racial slurs (which happens at least once an hour), I have a snappy retort: "If you hate darkies so much, why are you always trying to look like them!!!" THat is witty enough for a urban comedy, or a BET stand-up comedy festival!!!!!!!! I could get away with saying something like, albeit in a little less inflammatory fashion, as they would think it was a real question, because they think I am all naive and slow. Because I smile a lot and don't say much, cause they annoy me. Whoa, I am so full of excuses. But it is pretty funny how the stupidist, most close-minded people think they are smart and worldly. THEY NEED TO DRINK SOME OF MY HOME-MADE HATORADE!!!!!!!! BTW: I know that I am naive. I just hate when people, especially stupid people, point it out.

The good part about last night was that I went to Sterns, and went pretty fucking crazy. I was all "oh, I only want to stop in for like 10 minutes to see if there is a really good item on sale" but then I started diggin' in the bins and ripping stuff out of people's hands and salivating uncontrollably!!!! Let me just say that I am glad people around here have such good taste, cause that left more for me. I got a wicker bag with fishies on it, a little red leather ho purse, some large gold hoop earrings so I can be a pretend pirate, a corsetty thing that doesn't really fit, and some snazzy little brown walking shoes for when I walk places. A good haul. However, my spending lately has become uncontrollable. I am using it as an emotional crutch as my life becomes confused and hopeless! I am becoming like the troop leader in Camp Beverly Hills, which I watched this afternoon as small children chased the black kitty all over Jenjavitis' house. THen we went and had Mango soft Italian ice at the Lighthouse, and it felt like a childhood summer, FINALLY. At one point the Weaser HARD Italian ice truck drove by and we expected a full-on Italian ice war, where we could swim in/eat the remains!! No such durned luck. If I was a rapper of Italian decent, I am sure that my rappin' name would be "Italian Ice".

I hope these "daily recounts" do not make my diary incredibly lame. I should write erotica instead!!!! Only, it would be repulsive erotica, and even less people would read this.

die for rock: damn. well then you come up with something
a large gay man: we can film people rubbing freshly caught fish all over themslves
a large gay man: their NAKED selves
a large gay man: and then they gut the fish and use them as lubricant!!

I was terribly disappointed last week when my sister told me that the correct word for a heavy metal enthusiast was not in fact a "hessian", but a "hesher". "Heshin'" is the act of enjoying heavy metal apparently. And to think, all those times I read history books, coming across parts about German soldiers during the American Revolution, and I giggled uncontrollably!!! I AM SO DUMB!!!!!!!!! I will still refer to them as hessians, as it is charming and loveable. I love German heavy metal luvers. And the Scorpians!

Soon I am going to start drawing erotic squashes with old ladies at the local Art Guild every Tuesday night. It is so exciting. I love taking classes, to hear stupid things that people say. And I LUV old ladies!!! I will get some great fashion tips, as well as art tips!

Finally, I would like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A SPECIAL BIRTHDAY BOY KNOWN AS ANFERNEE DE SPIRALEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO TODAY LET'S SAY A BIG SPECIAL HAPPY DAY TO BIRFDAY BOY GLENN DANZIG. They will now share the spotlight: